Dead To The World
by Velia Thamis
Summary: Severus Snape get's a chance at love and a happy life but will he ruin it? Spoilers all 7 books. Concept written before HPDH. SS/OC NOT MARY SUE!
1. Chapter 1

Dead to the World  
By Cedric Thanatos

June 1977 - France

The air was thick with salt; Kitoku Thamis choked back her tears. Her Father Nasius was selling the house. A magical house by all standards and not easy to sell as any other wizard might think. Kitoku watched the water, restraint seeping away from her with each breath and each wave. Her dark hair was down and it whipped at her face in jerks of brunette curls. Fat tears of pain and sorrow struck her cheeks in a violent flood. Her body begged to lie down as she kneeled down on her knees gripping her stomach tightly. The blue school robes of Bauxbaton getting ground into the dirt and grime of the hard French shore. Sorrow enveloped the young witch as she realized again she would never see her house again because her father was dying. His illness had been sudden to her. In his unwillingness to share his sickness with his daughter he had hurt her in a way he had never intended. Nasius had not prepared his daughter for the transition in himself when he had been so sure he would beat the cancer inside him, but he had not expected things to turn as they had. So Nasius stayed quiet and had brought his young daughter home to her things and told her of his illness and his plan. They would both be moving in with his parents on the outskirts of London.

Marius and Corrina Thamis would welcome their only living granddaughter and raise her with as much love as they had. But now there was a train to catch and Nasius had yet to convince Kitoku that things would be all right and that he was going to be with her. He looked out at her crumpled form and knew he had the strength to carry her if she didn't resist him but he didn't know if he had the endurance. It was this time that Kitoku realized in a cold fury that she couldn't rely on someone to come get her when she fell and scraped her knee, or when she sat on the beach with such shattering news. Her blue eyes grew dull as she picked herself off the ground and turned to face her home. Her father stood at the window his hand cupping at the glass as if to hold her. She turned once more to the waters that were calm on this cloud filled day. She held her Bauxbaton cap and with as much strength as she could muster hurled it like a Fanged Frisbee out into the ocean. It didn't land very far out but it was enough and Kitoku walked away from the waters now sinking her school cap and went to join her father.

"I love you Father." She spoke to him the simple words of love while looking directly in his eyes.

"I know my lovely" He spoke softly bringing her into a warm and lovely embrace. They stayed that way for what felt like such a short time. "You must pack now, we have such a short time before our train." His voice brought Kitoku back and she gave a grave nod before entering her room and looking upon the room with the same sadness she had felt since she had received the news of her fathers illness, and her cheeks stayed wet for a while longer then she would have normally allowed. Kitoku methodically packed up the things she wanted and folded the blankets and sheets from her bed. She took the things that were her only possessions in the world and packed them in the trunks Nasius had given her. Kitoku's work was short and neat and they left the house in little under an hour.

Kitoku held her fathers hand the whole way to London for fear he might slip away. During there cross in the Chunnel Kitoku fell asleep but she still did not let go of her father's hand. When Nasius awoke her they were in London out the window of the muggle train Kitoku saw the vast amounts of people. And somehow knew this was where she was going to be coming back when she had to go back to school in September. Kitoku couldn't speak as they left the station. She and Nasius were led to a taxi by a French-speaking-Englishman who then had their possessions loaded on the vehicle in a short amount of time. Nasius tipped the young man with the only English money he had: two pounds. Kitoku understood most English but she would need help with the money. She so seldom visited muggle London she had almost no use for the knowledge of London currency. Her father on the other-hand knew so little English the two pounds was all he knew. The taxi ride was fast and smooth they were at Grand-Père's house sooner then Kitoku would have wanted.

"Run in and get some money for the driver. I do not know what he wants." Nasius was helping the man unload the trunks and bags from the taxi. Kitoku walked up to the door in no hurry but she also didn't want to delay the taxi driver. Grand-Père came out of the house and shooed off the taxi driver before Kitoku even reached the front door. Grand-Mère was standing in the doorway of the house watching her child and grandchild coming home at last. Kitoku was frozen. She had certainly seen her Grand-Mère and Grand-Père before but she always knew she would be leaving. This time her father would be leaving and never coming home. Kitoku felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to the face of her Grand-Père Marius Thamis his eyes were sad but he just gave her a look and then with his big hands wiped away the tears that were sneaking down her cheeks.

"Don't cry dear. You'll have a lovely summer here." Kitoku desperately wanted to agree with him but she knew no summer was going to be lovely knowing that her father was dying so cruelly and so soon after her mother and brother and sisters had been taken. For two years Kitoku and Nasius had gotten used to the quiet of one another without the crash and clatter of her three siblings and the baking and simmering of pots and pans in the kitchen where her mother would be working. Kitoku was almost used to the stone quiet of the large house, but it was too soon.

Kitoku remembered the day so clearly it stung her eyes again to remember what had happened. If she hadn't been sick, she would be dead too. If Nasius hadn't stayed to care for her he would be dead. Her brother Donovan could have lived, but they said that he was only trying to save his family. No one held Donovan back no one kept him out of harms way and now Kitoku would be the only one left. She couldn't help the tears that came and she couldn't stop them. She felt the presence of her father as he hugged her and wrapped her in his arms. She was lifted off the stone path to the house she would somehow have to learn to call home and weeping still was carried inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Dead to the World  
By Cedric Thanatos

Chapter One  
July 1977 - London

Severus Snape walked up and down Diagon and Knockturn alley seeking employment to fund his research and his potions lab. He just needed a job and some money. He was now on his own. His parents had little money to support him and he needed to be out--out and away from his parents who simply wanted him to work for the ministry. Severus didn't want to work for the ministry and couldn't think of a single reason why he should; except that he needed money. But Severus didn't want to work for the corrupt ministry any more than he wanted to re-meet Lily Evans. But there she was, shopping in the store at which he wanted to apply. Severus sulked away. Surely if Lily was around, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Reine Rose--the power couples of the Hogwarts graduating class of 1977--would be as well. Maybe even Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew would be with them, not that he minded running into either one of them as much. But still, when you saw _one_ of them and you didn't want to, surely enough the others would be flocking nearby, and for Severus it was best to avoid them all.

Severus sighed and kept walking. He needed a few ingredients for his new potion that he was going to try and work on. He needed more parchment, too, but he'd have to head back in the direction of where he'd seen Lily Evans, so he headed down to the apothecary instead. The door was dark and greasy in appearance, but Severus knew that it wasn't. This was simply one place the owner didn't want children running around in or seeing something shiny like children, even wizarding children, are apt to do. There wasn't much chance of children running around on their own now, but the door still was a deterrent. Then Severus saw a small sign. It was nearly impossible to read, but it simply stated, "Help Wanted." Severus entered and saw the stout, dirty man behind the counter, straightening the jars of various plants and animals that were currently in bits and pieces.

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yeah?"

"If you're still in need of someone to work here, I could help."

"What does some little rich kid like you want to work here for?"

"Sir, I'm Severus Snape and I am not rich and I recently moved out of my home. I am in need of employment and I could be of use to you and your store."

"Of use. Huh. Okay. You start now. Everything is labeled so you'll know what it is and how to sell it. The prices are clearly printed on a sticker on the bottom of each jar. Now, I need to get you an apron and you'll need to take off your robe. You work here in pants, shirt, and apron. Your friends don't visit my shop unless they're buying… You will work five days a week. You'll have off Monday and we're closed on Sundays. Your pay will come at the end of each week. You slack off and stop doing good work and you're out the door. Got all that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don't call me 'sir.' My name's Vern and you'll call me Vern. All right, Severus, here's a broom. The floor needs sweeping. We may be a dark store, but I like to keep it clean. While you sweep try to learn where things are. They're arranged by sensitivity to light."

"Thanks, Vern."

"Get to work."

While Severus swept the apothecary, Kitoku and Donovan Thamis sat by their father's bed. His illness had greatly weakened him. Kitoku was having daily lessons with her Grand-Mère, learning English better than she had known before. Kitoku had sewn new skirts to wear at Beauxbatons because the ones from the previous year were becoming too short. She had some deep, full purple fabric and then some black and purple fabric in a diamond pattern. Now she was sewing the hems by hand instead of using the sewing machine. Even if she didn't have any friends at Beauxbatons, she would be there instead of here. Kitoku was hoping that her father would be better so that they could travel to Paris to get her school supplies before she returned to school. Kitoku liked her Grand-Mère and Grand-Père, but they didn't have the youth for Kitoku's grief or needs. Kitoku needed her father to get better, even as she knew that he wouldn't. Donovan was silently reading to himself, his pale lavender eyes moving with the text, his medium brown hair covering his face.

"Children."

"Yes, Grand-Mère?" Kitoku answered.

"Come to the living room please." Her voice was soft and gentle so as not to wake her ailing son.

Kitoku gathered up the skirt and thread she was working on, and took it all into the living room. It was filled with four couches, three wingback chairs, and two low tables. On one of the tables, she and Donovan had been permitted to spread out their summer homework, so long as they cleaned it up every night and whenever company was expected. Kitoku didn't use the table much. Instead, she let herself study in her father's room, where he spent most of his time now. Even when he was awake he would sit up in bed or in a chair by the window. Frequently he wanted the window opened, so he could breathe the air. It was a sad room to study in, but the _whole house_ made Kitoku sad. So, she sat obediently in the living room and continued to work on the skirt.

"Kitoku, we got a letter from Headmaster Dumbeldore."

"Headmaster _ValJean_, you mean."

"No, this is the headmaster of Hogwarts."

"But I attend Beauxbatons..." Kitoku stopped paying attention to her work and looked into her Grand-Mère's eyes.

"We know that Kitoku, but we thought that you might be able to go to Hogwarts instead. It is so much closer to us, and you would be able to come home for Christmas and summer of course."

"But, I don't know anything about Hogwarts. I don't know the teachers or the students. I would be alone." Kitoku tried to plead, but then again she would be alone at Beauxbatons, too… Ever since her sisters died people avoided her. Girls and boys who had once been friends were suddenly shy of her.

"We will leave the decision up to you, but your Grand-Père and I both think it would be for the best if you changed schools. Do you at least want to know what the letter said?"

"No. May I go sit with father now?"

"Yes."

"I'll think about it." Kitoku got up and left the room.

"Going to a new school could be good for you soeur. It helped me." Donovan said as they retreated back to Nasius's room.

"Would you come with me?" Kitoku pleaded with him.

"I… I can't. I have to finish at Ombre Bleue. They have the lessons, and teachers I need."

"Why can't I go there with you."

"Because, it's a small school they only take a few people each year, and you haven't applied."

"I don't want to lose you too." Kitoku went to hug her older brother but then stopped. He was looking away from her.

"I'll write to you every day. And you must write to me everyday, we will still be together in spirit my soeur."

"Alright." There were too many choices and options that she didn't need to think about. Too many questions she was supposed to know the answers to, and she didn't know. Kitoku put school out of her mind and finished the work on her skirts.

At the end of the workday, Severus was learning where everything was. He had swept and dusted the entire store. Vern looked pleased and handed Severus a small coin purse.

"You've done well today. This is this week's pay. It's in advance. You owe me another four days, then you can decide whether or not to quit. Until then, however, you're working for me. Come back tomorrow. For now I'll close up and get things ready for tomorrow."

"Thanks again."

"Don't thank me; just show up and do your work. I've had that sign on the door for a couple weeks now and you're the only one who even seemed interested in the place. But don't sell yourself short, kid. You did good today. Now get out so I can lock up and go get some dinner."

With thoughts of dinner, Severus headed out the door. He searched for a suitable place to eat and then he headed back to the flat he had rented. He was out of almost all of his money, but now with a steady source of income he could spend a little in the pub for a meal and some ale.

It was eight days later that the death of Nasius Thamis occurred. He had been sitting next to the window and Kitoku had been reading the newspaper aloud to him, skipping the un-pleasantries of people disappearing and being discovered dead. She avoided the news of fires and bombs, of bridges collapsing, and of the panic of the war in the wizarding world. Kitoku read the paper in a short time and moved on to a novel he had wanted to read. But by the time she opened the book to the first page, he had already passed. She did not notice because he had not been having labored breathing or wheezing. He may not have died a happy man, but he died as happy as he could have, with the summer breeze coming in through the window and his daughter's soft voice comforting him with news of the world. He had wanted to say that he loved her, but he hadn't had the strength.

Kitoku read on for a few minutes before she noticed her father's stillness. She got up to close the window and get him a blanket. Donovan looked up from his own reading. As she was placing the blanket around her father, she realized how pale ever so much more then he had been.

"Father?" she whispered, gently prodding him. "Father?" A bit louder this time. When Nasius didn't respond the second time Kitoku became anxious and her heart filled with panic. "FATHER!" she yelled out as she reached him, now noticing that his stillness was not of sleep but of death. She clung to him, weeping greatly, her grief exposed to the wizard across the lawn who was pruning his flowerbed. Donovan was unable to move, unable to comfort his sister and unable to cry, he sat frozen as the death of his father struck a low and nasty blow to his spirit. Grand-Père came into the room and when he found his son in the motionlessness of death, he too could no longer wear a smile. He would smile later in life, but for now he couldn't remember how to smile. How could he smile? His only son had just died and the utter devastation of his granddaughter caught his heart in squeezed it tight.

The Thamis house was in mourning. The family wore somber colors. Nasius' funeral was private, but no one else would have come anyway. They were a dying bloodline. Kitoku and Donovan was the Thamis' last hope. Kitoku stayed silent for weeks Donovan tried to get her to talk, but the children were not ready to face the world yet, neither could comfort the other beyond what comfort they found themselves. But she sent an owl, regarding her decision to attend Hogwarts, to Beauxbatons Academy. Then she sent an owl to Hogwarts requesting a supply list for fifth year students. When it arrived, she handed it to her Grand-Mère, who busied herself with getting the two of them ready to go to Diagon Alley, Donovan did not go with them, he instead took out a book and began to read.

Shopping was done in near silence, and whatever words were spoken came mostly from Grand-Mère. They were nearly done when Kitoku entered the apothecary by herself. She handed the older gentleman the list, who then passed it along to the young man whose sleeves were rolled up past his skinny elbows. The young man dashed in and out of aisles, gathering the items her list requested. The young man came back and Kioku looked at each one of the jars and bags. She came to the bag marked "Wormwood Stems" and noticed that the bag had been incorrectly labeled.

"Sir, these are dried Mandrake roots. I need Wormwood Stems." They were the first words she had spoken for six weeks--maybe more. "It's been mislabeled."

The young man scowled at the bag. He was sure he had been the one who had labeled these bags. The yellow parchment certainly carried his handwriting. He looked at the bag and sure enough there were no faint pink rings indicating the properties of Wormwood.

"I'm sorry, Miss, I'll get that taken care of right away."

But Severus memorized the face. He could tell that she was sad. Her voice was hoarse and top of that she carried an accent. He was sure this was a Hogwarts list of ingredients, yet he had never seen her before. Surely he would have noticed someone as intelligent and well-acquainted with Wormwood. Surely Professor Slughorn would have talked about her or she might have been in the Slug Club like he had been. Severus took down a bag of Wormwood and did a quick search to see if any others were mislabeled. He didn't see any and he came back to the front of the store. This time the girl was joined by a much older woman and he could not ask her any questions. So he rang up the order and the woman paid for it. Then together they left the store, just before they did, however, the girl turned her head and said thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

Dead to the World

By Cedric Thanatos

Chapter 2

September 1977

Kitoku had begun speaking again but not a lot. She and Donovan parted on platform 9 ¾ with a hug and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. His school wouldn't start for another three weeks.

Kitoku felt distanced from the other students as they bobbled back and forth on the train. A few had said hello, but none were extremely forthcoming with greetings. Kitoku sighed. She pulled out her potions textbook and re-read the first chapter. It was droll but she hadn't brought any extra books, she hadn't thought she would need them in a new school where she would make new friends. Bauxbaton was ahead of Hogwarts, Kitoku had already mastered many of the potions in the first half of the book. She put the book away and stared past a slight girl with long straight dark blond hair, a small nose and brown eyes who had the most resent copy of the Daily Prophet. The outside of the train was settling into a pink and purple twilight time that made Kitoku just want to sleep. Instead she pulled out the picture of her family from before the attack. Her mother was standing as always wearing a pale pink witches robe and white dress beneath. She and her sisters smiled at the camera wearing identical outfits of purple and white while Donovan and her father wore simpler wizarding robes or gray with white shirts beneath.

"My mom always wears green." The blond had leaned over to peer over at the picture. "Your mom forget to pack your lunch?"

"What?"

"You haven't eaten. Did your mom forget to pack your lunch?"

"No, she is dead."

"Ohh I'm sorry." The blond seemed to search for something to say. "I'm Leonora. Leonora Barker. I've never seen you before, what's your name?"

"Kitoku Thamis. I came from Bauxbaton."

"Hey cool. I bet that means you speak French!"

"Yes, not since July."

"Ohh why?"

"Because my father died. He could only speak French. My grandparents they speak English."

"That's so sad. What about your siblings? Are they on the train too?"

"My sisters died with my mother. Donovan got accepted at _Ombre Bleue_, he is going to that school now." Kitoku did not know why she was talking to someone so freely.

"What happened to your family then?"

"It was a festival in western France. I vas sick so I do not go, my father stayed with me. He made me onion soup and we ate up in my room. He tell me stories about the festivals in Japan and China where he had spent some time when he was young. I asked him if we could have a festival and he made me promise to stay awake. He vent and wound one of my mother's small dresses and robes for me and he changed into a Kimono, we were in the kitchen when the doorbell it rang.

I was just before my thirteenth birthday. We were making cookies with cherry flavored sprinkles and waiting for family to return. My sister Carolina was eleven. My sister Misha was nine. Carolina had just finished her first year at Bauxbaton and Misha was envious. But they all left with smiles my father assured me when we started making the cookies for them. I was still sad that I hadn't been able to go to the festival but I was happy that I was making cookies for them and I imagined the stuffed duck Donovan was sure to get me.

Then father opened the door. It was a ministry official. He said to my father about the attack of the Deatheaters on the festival. He said that my sisters and mother were at a booth selling jewelry and that they died very quickly, but my brother he was not killed. He found the bodies of our sisters and he tried to bring them back. My brother he was in the hospital for so long because of those men I hate them very much." Kitoku felt the tears on her cheeks and felt as Leonora's arms wrapped around her in a warm and kind hug.

"It gets better, it'll get better. Hey, my friend Kara would like you. She's a prefect, so she's not able to ride in the same compartment as us." Kitoku nodded. It had been a long time since someone had offered friendship to her in her life of sudden loss.

"Thank you Leanora."

"Hey don't thank me. Hey do you know what house you'll be in yet?"

"No, what house are you from?"

"Slytherin. So is Kara, she's really smart and I bet you would like her too. Even if you don't end up in Slytherin, we could still be friends."

"I don't know how to thank you." Kitoku could almost feel the tears coming back.

"Hey, come on now. I'm just being friendly. Besides, I think we'll be good friends won't we?"

"Yes, Leonora, yes I think so." With that, Kitoku had made a friend and told her story. She knew things would be better at Hogwarts then that had been at Bauxbaton. She was placed at the front of a line of very small students and was sorted first after a brief speech by the Headmaster, Albus Dumbeldore. She was placed in Slytherin although the hat had a lengthy one-sided conversation warning her the dangers of the Slytherin house but then giving in to her wish and warning her that she would have been great in Ravenclaw. That night, in the dorm there was talk about the new bed but Leonora told the other girls to shut up and just leave Kitoku alone. Then she crawled under the covers and went to bed. Kitoku climbed into bed, but could not sleep. It was her first night in a strange and wonderful place. She composed a letter to her grandparents before she fell asleep for a few precious hours where she dreamed of very little and remembered none of her dreams.

Back in London however Severus lay awake in his small flat in a small bed with barely room to stretch. There was no activity tonight, none of the mice could be heard scurrying. Nothing could be heard at all. His mind wondered to what he would be doing if he were back at Hogwarts this year. He would have enjoyed the welcome feast, and he and his friends would have found their way back to the Slytherin common room. Then Severus would have dodged up to the library and gotten a few books and read until he fell asleep. If he happened to run into Potter or Black, he would have cursed them and then left them where they landed. But Severus was reminded of the quiet girl. Her black hair had been in a curly ponytail tied with purple ribbons. Her eyes had been a brilliant shade of lavender and her voice had been small and he could hear her voice saying thank you in such a bashful tone over and over again. Severus sighed, a girl that pretty would hardly notice him and if she did, she would probably try to forget him as soon as she could. Just like Lily Evans.

Severus stomach growled and he was forced out of his bed by hunger. He went to his closet sized kitchen and managed to dredge up a meal to please his father, soup out of a can and a hard roll. Then Severus indulged and picked exactly twelve grapes from his precious stash in the refrigerator. He saved them for last and only ate half of the soup to eat later. If he tried, he could make the food last for another week. He had three cans of soup and six rolls left a loaf of bread and some cheese for lunches. He would buy different foods next week. Maybe he would indulge and make food with magic, but it never tasted quiet right. Severus looked at the letter he had gotten from Lucius Malfoy asking him to attend dinner with the Malfoy's next Saturday. But it was almost two weeks away. Severus finished his food and looked at his fast depleting supply of grapes a frown developed and would not go away. Severus's thought turned back to his thought of a grocery list for the next two weeks. He wanted more fruit, more vegetables. Maybe if he got those he could make his own stew. Surely that would be cheaper then buying cans. Severus could hardly stand it.

He needed more parchment too. He needed it to finish his potion's book. He knew he could finish it within a few weeks if he got enough parchment. He knew how to add the ingredients to any potion he studied. He still had his textbooks from Hogwarts; he could very easily revise the text from those and make new editions. But he wouldn't make any money off of those. He needed to make a new textbook, one a school would use. And he had it well he almost had it finished. He just needed new parchment, more parchment and some descent food. Severus could do nothing until he got paid again and after rent and food he would barely have anything for parchment, a few sheets at best. A few sheets that would fill up with potions before the end of a day. Severus lay awake the rest of the night and the next day he went to work in the Apothecary.

Two weeks had gone by and Kitoku was already struggling with her English assignments. The first week she had simply written them in French and then spelled them to English, but Professor Flitwick had said her essay had reverted back to French and he was afraid he couldn't read French. So Kitoku had hunkered down and began writing all of her essays on English but there was no denying that she would have gotten a few more O's if she had learned better English. Mostly, she received E and A on her papers. But she was not behind as other students might have been, there was a young man in Hufflepuff who she shared a table with during transfiguration, who simply could not do the harder transformations. Kitoku struggled slightly with the spoken spells, but she had already begun the task of silent spells, and she could use the incantations without having to say many of them out loud. Kara had been rightly impressed with her, and as Leonora had assured her, they had become fast friends too. Leonora sat with Kara in most lessons but there where sometimes Kitoku joined them. Kitoku was slowly becoming comfortable at Hogwarts and improving her English.

Severus had an idea what the evening was to hold, he had been warned ahead of time that the evening included many of Lucius's friends and many more of Narcissa Black. When Severus appeared he was quickly ushered into the manor of his very rich friend. Mr. Malfoy a very sturdy wizard of middle years greeted him, and led him to the parlor where a few other wizards were already waiting. Severus looked at the attire of his friends and could very plainly see he had not been told it was a dress robe occasion. Not, that it mattered outright; he had no dress robes to wear. He was soon spotted by Lucius who glided over to him.

"Severus! So glad you made it. I didn't know if that boss of your would give you the day off for a trifle party like mine." His hair was up in a ponytail held by black-corded ribbon. His dress robes were of a deep navy that made his color look paler and yet more handsome at the same time. He wore a smooth silken vest of the same blue but a black shirt that held three buttons at the wrist and carried no ruffles making his cuff a clean and easy length his graceful well manicured hands escaped the sleeves without taking away from there length. Lucius was very much the image of wizard wealth and beauty. Severus felt a pang of jealousy knowing he would never look that good, even if he wore those elegant robes.

"I hardly think you do anything 'trifle', but I'm afraid that I have not come appropriately dressed."

"No matter, no matter. We can get you fixed up. Come with me, I am sure I have something that would fit you." Severus followed the blond haired youth. In Lucius bedroom, Lucius pulled the fine satin and brocade dredges from his closet. There was a robe that Lucius had been able to wear when he had been seventeen made of fine fabrics the color or deep wine. Below it there was a black slack and black shirt with billowing sleeves finished with a charcoal colored vest, pulling in the shirt and pronouncing the sleeves. Severus put them on and there were still slightly too large on him. Lucius fixed them with a simple fitting charm and then helped Severus place the robe over the clothes. It came down to his knees on the left side and then the robe swept back over the right shoulder showing off the fine fabrics worn beneath, and leaving the right arm to move freely.

"There, now you're all fixed up. I have a question to ask you." And without waiting for Severus to reply he continued looking at his eyes in the reflection of the mirror. "You have probably guessed by now why my parents are hosting a party tonight. Narcissa and I are announcing our engagement at the end of dinner, right before desert." Severus smirked; he had guessed. "What I would like from you is for you to be my best man at the wedding."

"There's no need to ask, you know I will."

"Good. Dobby!" Severus flinched at the sudden rise in Lucius's voice. A pop was heard a very scared house elf appeared

"Yes Master Lucius. Dobby will do anything master wishes."

"Good, burn the discarded robes and send a note to my robe maker that Severus Snape will be coming in for a new set of everyday robes and to have a set of dress robes altered, or to get a new set if he wishes and that the bill is to be sent directly to me, not my father."

"Yes master. Dobby will do as master wishes." Then another pop as the house elf disappeared.

"Lucius my friend there is no need for that." But the house elf had taken his robes and probably thrown them in the fire already. Severus now only had his two work shirts and a pair of slacks.

"You have just agreed to be my best man. Now tell me what else do you need?"

Severus almost said nothing, but then he caught himself. "Actually, I am writing a book. A textbook." He quickly corrected as Lucius raised his brow.

"Ahh you need a connection then someone to send it into. No problem."

"Well, that isn't necessarily the problem. You see I have run out of such a simple supply I feel rather ashamed about it." Severus paused.

"Well go on. I know not all wizards are equally kept with the funds they save for their children. You said your parents left you nothing when they died and I can hardly see how you make any money to live as it is. So tell me what is it you need."

"Lucius please don't make fun of me, but I need parchment, and ink to fill my quill. It seems I have run quiet low and did not realize."

"You think I would poke fun at you for something so dreadful. No wonder you do not return my notes if you have no parchment or ink. I did not know if you would make it at all. No, you shall not worry about parchment again. I will have a delivery made to your home. Now, we should make it down to my party."

"Lucius. Please don't tell Narcissa. I feel ashamed as it is."

"No need to ask, some things are between the men alone, women do like to giggle and gossip about. Awful habit really." With that there conversation was closed and dressed in fine fabrics cut in an elegant manor they made their way down to the feast and it was announced before desert and planned. Narcissa blushed happily and her mother shined with approval and her father met Lucius's father with greeting and there families joined in celebration. They drank deep of meads and wines and ate on delicate desserts, Severus sipped a single glass of merlot enjoying every sip, watching his friends and wishing them much happiness. He smiled as he left and apperated back to him home in the heart of London and he slept for a long night.

Waking he put on his work clothes and down to Lucius's robe shop of choice. After being measured and fitted he came out with five new robes with white shirts and black slacks to match, the outfit he had worn the night before mended and altered and a set of green dress robes. When he arrived back home there was a large package awaiting him. It contained several bottles of black ink and a few colored inks as well it contained enough paper to finish his book, and most likely the entirety of another. It also contained a half-dozen new quills. Then hidden were owl treats, and a letter. The letter told of a contact to send his book to once he got it finished. Severus kindly smirked; he knew how to twist his caring friend. That night, Severus enjoyed an apple with his usual soup and roll. e


	4. Chapter 4

Dead to the World

By Cedric Thanatos

Chapter 3

Autumn 1978

Kitoku was meeting with Kara and Leonora to do the shopping in Diagon Alley before they returned to Hogwarts for there sixth year. And again Donovan could not be convinced to go shopping in the crowded London streets. All three girls had passed their O.W.L.S. with remarkable ease. The only subject Kitoku had problems with was Arithmancy. But, she couldn't be good in everything. She had received an A in that subject. But in all of her other test she had received O's and E's. Today she was going to make the best of everything. She was particularly proud of her O in potions and her English had improved quiet a bit though, her accent was still heavy. When Leonora went to buy more owl treats and food for her owl, Kitoku caught sight of a particularly scared looking skinny long haired black cat. She was drawn to it.

"Spooks." She read off of the nametag and she scooped him up, for she was sure that it was a tomcat. He instead of flinching away began to purr as he rubbed his chin on her cheek. Kitoku giggled

"That cat hasn't taken to anyone 'sides you yet. He was a right old scare lil thing when we gots 'im. Born on the street with all them other cats, he watch his brothers and sisters go all summer 'e 'as. Been scared of all me customers 'sept you. Why I name 'im Spooks it is."

"How horrible. I do not know how to take care of a cat, I would be confused."

"Cats is easy they is. Pay mind to them own selves they do. You just got to feed em and let em have fresh water. They take care of the rest they do. We set you up with a delivery system when you 'as Hogwarts we do. You pay for a year of food and you get it fresh each week ya do. We just mail it right to ya, no trouble on your part. No trouble at all miss."

"I want this cat very much, but I must ask my Grendmere."

"As the lady wishes. We hold 'im for ya today we will. Just ask for 'im and you got 'im miss. Mind ya miss, we only be holdin' 'im for today."

Kitoku's grandmother allowed her to get the cat and she set up the cat food delivery for her once school started. She carried the cat with her into the apothecary. She spoke to the cat in French asking him not to leap on anything and he curled in her arm and lay his head down to sleep. Kitoku managed to hold the cauldron in the hand while gathering ingredients from the shelves in packages and jars. But, when Kitoku came to the set of new vials and flask, she looked around in a search to her answers. Kara had already done her shopping and was waiting for her at the Ice Cream shop. Kitoku made her way up to the front of the store where a sallow faced young man with a crooked nose and long shining black hair was tied back with a fraying ribbon. She carefully set down the cauldron, but Spooks woke when she shifted him.

"Excuse me, but I am needing some help wi'z the set of unbreakable glass." As she spoke the young man looked up and seemed to falter a little before composing himself. Before he spoke to answer her however the feisty cat had jumped down and landed on the young man. The long haired black cat met the long haired young man and promptly licked him on the nose before jumping back down and batting at Kitoku to get back in her arms. "I am so sorry! I did not know he would do that." The young man looked like he might have more color in his cheeks then he did before.

"It's not a problem, I like cats. Umm, you needed a set of unbreakable glass. I can get that for you." The young man managed to say stumbling only slightly. Kitoku followed him to the section where they kept the sets of vials and flasks.

"I need the bigger one." She said as he reached for the standard set.

"Do you make a lot of potions?"

"I am study at Hogwarts this year. I am told we do lot of work in N.E.W.T.S. Potions, and I want to be prepared and I am very good, but sometimes I am not so lucky with my partner."

"I was at Hogwarts, and I never saw you."

"Ohh, I study at Bauxbatons my first four years. I am exchange student."

"Here we go. Did you, did you find everything all right?"

"Ohh yes, it is very easy to find what I need, it is very well umm.. organized. Is that the right word?"

"Yes, it is."

"I am study English very hard but sometime I have problem remembering word."

"You're better then I am, I don't speak a work of French."

"That is shame. You should learn sometime."

"Maybe I will." The young man bent carefully to add up her total. Kitoku paid and the apologized for her cat again.

Severus was left alone as she walked out the door; today had been a slow day. Then an amused voice crept into his ear. "You should learn sometime! Ahh Severus my man, I have just a few quick words I know how your boss would hate for your friends to interrupt this busy day." Lucius Malfoy had been hiding behind a stack of cauldrons.

"He isn't here today." Severus let off easily.

"Well no wonder you feel able to flirt with a customer."

"I wasn't flirting, I was being friendly to a customer."

"I am not here to argue with you about your flirtations, I am here to tell you that I need you to go to Madam Malkin's after you get off of work. You and Nott will be wearing the same robes next month, and Bellatrix wanted to approve your outfits compared with Narcissa's. It's really all a bother, but it's how my Narcissa wants it, so I would be happy to entertain her ideas."

Severus gave a quick sneer. "Bellatrix is approving your taste? She has the fashion sense of a cow."

"Well, I quiet agree, but she is Narcissa's sister, and she will be my dear sister in law. I should get used to having her around. Especially since she will be joining us." Lucius said in a slightly irritated tone.

"You mean with…"

"Yes, and I dare say we shant say anymore until it's done." Lucius swept out the door and was gone just as the girl had left. Severus took up a broom and began sweeping the empty store.

Kitoku met Leonora and Kara outside the ice cream shop, where Spook woke and immediately ducked his head into Kitoku's elbow to hide.

"That is weird, he jus' licked the nose of the young man in the apothecary." Kitoku said out loud to the shock of Kara.

"What an icky cat. You should get it tested for poisons."

"Why?"

"That young man is Severus Snape."

"So what do I care his name is?"

"He and Kara's brother were right ol rivals a couple years back while they were still at Hogwarts." Leonora tried to clarify.

"I didn't know you has a brother."

"Yeah well I don't talk to him much. With our parents dead and all, we don't have much to talk about I guess. He's wrote me telling me he wants me back for Christmas."

"I wish my sisters were still alive so I could talk to them." Kitoku bowed her head. Kara opened her mouth to say something but then couldn't. "I am no hungry anymore. I am done shopping, I 'sink I should jus' go 'ome now." Kitoku rose and bumped into a tall blond man.

"Very sorry dear. Ohh" he said looking up. "You're William Barker's sister aren't you." Leonora blushed a little.

"Yes, and you are Lucius Malfoy."

"Ohh you knew who I am, very good. Well I am sure I will see you again soon." Lucius entered the Ice Cream shop. Spooks looked up long enough to throw a hiss at the strangers back before hiding in Kitoku's elbow again.

"Who was that?" Kara asked interested.

"Lucius Malfoy soon to be married to Narcissa Black. Their wedding in the talk of the town- so to speak. He and my brother are friends."

"What did he mean?" Kara looked suspiciously at the Ice Cream shop.

"I have no idea." The girls made there way back to the Three Broomsticks where their families were waiting for them.

It was just over a month later that Lucius and Narcissa were married. And it was shortly after that when Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black took on the Dark Mark and became the servants of an unforgiving master.

Back at Hogwarts Kara had been slightly distant but Kitoku noticed that she was receiving more Owls then she had the year before. Kitoku left her to her privacy studying had become something she and her friends were having to spend a lot of time doing. They had a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. She didn't seem to be as good as the teacher they had had the year before. Leonora had told her that they had had a new Defense teacher every year she could remember. So far Kitoku was grateful she had not continued some of the subjects that Kara and Leonora were taking, she had a hard enough time keeping up with her homework, however she maintained her high grades, and while she wasn't the best student in the school, she did very well.

Her head of house and potions professor had begun inviting her to his parties and Kitoku was making new friends with those who were dubbed in the 'Slug Club'. Kitoku somehow felt a sense of belonging and a little bit of wholeness. Spooks was prone to prowl around at night and tended to crawl into her bag before breakfast. She ended up carrying him all over the castle when he would occasionally poke his head out of her bag and hiss at someone or more likely duck back in after nudging Kitoku with his wet nose.

Severus was working diligently on a second textbook every minute he didn't have to sleep or work in the shop. It was however a surprise when someone knocked on his door at six in the evening. Lucius staggered in half drunk and carrying a large bottle of an expensive looking wine.

"CONGRADULATIONS!" Lucius shouted merrily as Severus shut the door. "We need glasses." Lucius went into Severus's kitchen and brought out two very clean glasses and poured them both full of the wine. "Now ask me why I am celebrating, and why you should congratulate me!"

"Why are you celebrating Lucius?"

"Narcissa is pregnant! Just found out today. Had to share it with my best mate! And of course Durmstrang has adopted your book! Ohh your text will be a success. Drink with me." And Severus drank of the fine wine enjoying the subtle flavors. "Now I have a serious matter to discuss with you."

"Alright."

"I would like you to be the Godfather of this baby if it's a boy."

Severus was shocked. He had no idea that he truly was Lucius's best friend in the world. At the same time he was honored. "I am flattered beyond words Lucius."

"Then you will?"

"Yes, yes I will." Lucius smiled and poured more wine. They drank until the bottle was gone and the left to find a pub full of fire whisky. They drank deep and celebrated far into the night.

"Kitoku! Kitoku! They said yes! I've got the owl here! My brother will be home this Christmas and everything! Ohh this is the perfect birthday!" Leonora danced up to her.

"I got you something." Said Kitoku cautiously, holding out a package.

"Ohh, you didn't have to do that."

"But I wanted to, it isn't much. But you are my first friend since I came to Hogwarts." Kitoku blushed as Leonora opened the package. She pulled out a box containing a necklace that held a small blue stone. "It was my sister Carolina's she left it at the house. Our parents gave it to her when she turned eleven."

"Ohh Kitoku, you shouldn't, if you have a daughter, you could give it to her, or wear it yourself. You shouldn't give it to me."

"I have a necklaces to give to any daughters I might have. But you mean very much to me. Please Leonora, I want you to have it." Kitoku brought a necklace out from under her robes. "You see they gave me one too." The necklace held a purple stone.

"Ohh thank you Kitoku, thank you so much." Leonora hugged her and they cried a little as silly girls do.

Kitoku had lived with her grandparents for a couple of years, and she knew they were wealthy, but they did not live as if they were wealthy. Her parents had never lived as if they were wealthy, but Kitoku had a sizable fund when she came of age that would all go to her. But seeing wealth is the Barker home was something different. They did not live like her family had. The house was extravagant and located in the country it helped keep muggles away. Kitoku and Leonora arrived by car. There was a driver who had picked them up from Kings Cross Station in a long black vehicle. A limousine Leonora had explained to her. They had food and beverages in the back of the vehicle so they were not exhausted with hunger when they arrived at Leonora's home late that night. Kitoku was so excited to be somewhere where people lived as if they could burn their money.

Leonora's family was happy enough to greet her and see that she was comfortable but they spend a majority of their time in the company of Leonora's older brother William. William was a handsome enough fellow but a little uptight.

"Nora dear I have received an invitation from the younger Mrs. Malfoy that you and I are to attend her Christmas party on the 20th. I assume I should right back that you are entertaining and that your could not be so rude as to attend a party where you guest is not invited." He spoke as he wrote the reply.

"Yes thank you brother."

"Oh, I do not mind if you want to go, I could use quiet night to study."

"Don't be silly Kitoku dear," William spoke to her. "You are sure to get an invitation now. They will send it back rephrased to include you I am certain." He gave the girls a small smile. "Now I must off to bed. You girls should do the same.

"Is he always such a prig?" Kitoku asked after he had left the room.

"Yes." Leonora giggled. "And I hate the way he calls me Nora."

So it was as Mr. William Barker predicted, and the two girls were getting ready to attend a great wizarding Christmas party. They dressed in finery, Kitoku wore her purple dress robes and changed her hair from it's normal ponytail to an upsweep that made her look just a tad older then she was. Leonora wore pale pink and William wore traditional and boring black. Leonora's parents really didn't care that they were going but wished them a safe journey and bid William to look after his sister and her guest. Kitoku had thought that the Barker home was lavish. But it seemed insignificant compared to Malfoy Manor. Kitoku was dazed and had to fight the urge to stare up at the Manor with her mouth agape. Kitoku entered the ballroom with Leonora on her arm. They laughed there way in. Many people were gathered around in varied groups.

"William! Good to see you again." Said the blond man Kitoku had run into at the Ice Cream shop.

"Lucius my friend, Happy Yule and Merry Christmas."

"Same to you. This must be your sister and her friend. I was glad to hear you had accepted the invitation as you did."

"Not at all Lucius, I simply didn't want anyone to feel any ill of any other."

"And what is your name darling, I'm afraid neither William or Leonora have introduced us yet. I am Lucius Malfoy, my wife is our hostess tonight, and that would make me the host."

"Kitoku Thamis, good to meet you monsieur Malfoy."

"Ohh you're French. No wonder I haven't heard of you."

"I live in England very short time yes."

"How darling. Leonora how splendid you look tonight. Come all of you, you simply must say hello to Narcissa, she will be so glad you made it William." They followed Lucius as he seemed to glide across the floor and met his charming and beautiful wife. Next to her stood the young man whose nose Spooks had licked. Kitoku met his eyes briefly and she blushed turning her gaze away from his.

"Now, I believe that this young woman is one that you have met Severus. Her name is Kitoku, and you should be very nice to her she is a friend of William's family."

"I am very rarely rude to your guest Lucius." The man did not smile, but kind of smirked.

"You should be nicer to Bella, she would be if you were." Narcissa chided him.

"Ahh but she is not a guest, she is family." Severus replied. "However I will do my best to not offend her this evening."

"Lucius I hope you would not be terribly offended if I asked your wife to dance."

"Not so long as your sister agrees to dance with me."

They both nodded and then took the lady by the hand and led them to the dance floor, leaving Kitoku alone with Severus. He wore nice green dress robes.

"Well, I suppose the nice thing to do would to ask you to dance, or to show you to a young man who would be much better at dancing then I would be."

"I do not mind. I am only here because of Leonora, she has been most kind to me."

"Well would you like to dance?"

"Only if you are asking."

"Very well." Severus held out his hand and Kitoku took it. They walked to the dance floor and began in the middle of the song. Thus did Kitoku dance for the first time with a stranger, not a complete stranger for she had met the man before but had never been introduced.

Donovan had kept up his promise to a point, Kitoku did receive at least one letter every week and she always send one to him, but Donovan's letter's became less meaningful and more distant, he had informed her that he had to study over Christmas and would not be seeing her, as he had done the year before. She had not seen Donovan since she had stepped onto the train at the beginning of the school year. She missed him terribly, but now she had a new person to write to.

It was only a few weeks later after students had resumed classes at Hogwarts, that Severus received another drunken visit from his friend Lucius. In January of 1979 just a few days before his twentieth birthday he received terrible news.

"Narcissa lost the baby." Before his blond friend wept until he collapsed unconscious.


	5. Chapter 5

Dead to the World

By Cedric Thanatos

Chapter 4

Spring 1980

Kitoku was exhausted. Studying for all of the N.E.W.T.S. was clearly not agreeing with her sleep patterns. She yawned and headed down to her dorm. Leonora was already in bed and Kara was out patrolling the corridors. It was part of her duties as Head Girl. Kitoku pulled out a book, she was too tired to study, but she kept letters she received from a certain young man. They had been writing since Christmas of the previous year. What a dance it had been, she felt warmth in her cheeks thinking about it. She had not meant to be bold, but she had accepted the kiss to her hand. They had met again in the Apothecary and agreed that while Kitoku was at Hogwarts that they would not consider themselves dating. Kitoku looked forward to the end of the year not only to be done with studying but also to get to go on a date, a real date with Severus Snape. She pulled out his latest letter and re-read the words that had become less awkward the more they had exchanged letters. She was glad to hear of the success of several of Severus's accomplishments including two new books about Defense spells. The books were doing very well in the private sales, but he was hoping that a school would adopt one or both of them. Severus sounded hopeful that Durmstrang would at least give his books a good looking over. Kitoku folded the letter and took out a small box that now contained many more letters from Severus Snape then her own brother who now wrote occasionally. He had graduated, and now she no longer knew where he was, he had told her it was a secret and he couldn't tell her, but his last letter was from September, and Kitoku got worried about him, however she continued to write to him twice a week just to be sure he knew she still existed.

"You're up late tonight." Kara said.

"Just doing some reading." Kitoku responded while Spooks curled next to her.

"Ahh well. I got a letter from my brother today. He said that his wife is doing well with her pregnancy. So I'll be an aunt before long. I just hope it wasn't such a sad time to have a baby."

"I'm sure things will work out."

"Yeah, you're always so nice about everything. I don't know how you got sorted into Slytherin."

"Probably because of Leonora." Kitoku undid her robes and climbed into bed.

"I'm really tired, Goodnight."

"Goodnight, see you in the morning." Kitoku pulled a letter out from the book and read it again, before putting it back and resting.

It was the slowest month of April then had ever existed before, Kitoku went through her classes and did her work, but she was sure that the time she spent writing Severus and Donovan was a good use, because a girl could not study all the time. But Kara didn't seam to be able to keep up as well; she continually had to miss one class or another. Kitoku and Leonora began noticing that she ate less and less and was losing weight. Leonora was so worried about the upcoming test, she wasn't paying a lot of attention to her friends, but Kara slowly seemed to be spending more and more time away from studying and her duties as head girl. Kitoku sought but did not find an opportunity to talk to Kara alone. So very slowly the month of May crept upon them, this year's final quiddich match was between Gryfindor and Ravenclaw to determine last and third place in the run for House cup. Kitoku and Leanora attended but it was an unremarkable game barely worthy the time. May crept on and the seventh year students continued to study diligently in preparations. The day of the first test came with great anticipation; History of Magic was one of the easier N.E.W.T.S and Kitoku was glad when the tests were finally over. Students had two more weeks in the castle for the lower years to finish classes and for the fifth years to complete the O.W.L.S. Kitoku, wrote a letter to Severus as the last N.E.W.T. was finished. She had just returned to the Slytherin dorm after sending the letter when Leonora came in and found her.

"Kitoku come quick, it's Kara, I think she's in trouble." Leonora's eyes were full of tears, her voice broken.

Severus was greeted by an owl baring a letter from the girl who had taken Lily Evan's place in his heart. So soon she would be out of Hogwarts, so soon he would be able to see her again, to see if their lives were meant to be intertwined together. Then Severus remembered the small tattoo on his left arm, the one that he had gotten marked with willingly. The one thing that could keep her from loving him, the one regret in his life, and he didn't know how to fix it, didn't know how to make it go away, he didn't know how to make it go away. Severus pushed aside these thoughts, and read the letter. It explained little, but the overall feel was one of great relief and anticipation.

The School year ended with a bit of madness and Kitoku went home. Her grandparents greeted her with a solemn attitude; they knew she had a friend in the hospital. They drove her to downtown and said they would wait for her to return.

Kitoku entered St. Mungo's and silently found her way to where Kara should be resting, hopefully healing. There was a woman with red hair and a swelled stomach sitting by Kara, a woman she had never met before. The woman noticed her as she came up and took a seat next to her. Kara was asleep either naturally or magic induced.

"Are you a friend of Kara's?"

"Yes, we went to school together."

"I'm her sister-in-law Lily."

"Very nice to meet you. I am Kitoku."

"That's not a French name."

"No, it isn't. What do the doctors say?"

"Maybe we can step out when my husband gets back."

"Alright." A young man clearly older then Kitoku stepped in. His black hair was shaggy and unkempt he wore glasses and black everyday robes. His face showed Kitoku what she needed to know.

"Excuse me. I went to school with your sister. They packed her trunk, but they overlooked this box." Kitoku held out the small box.

"What's in it?" The man's voice asked as he looked at her.

"Letters. She vas really looking forward to being an aunt, I hope she gets to zee your baby." Kitoku couldn't stay but instead gave the man the box of letters. "Tell her I was here when she wakes up." She could see in the woman's eyes, that Kara might never wake again. The green eyed woman looked so close to tears herself, that Kitoku was sure she too would cry if she did not get away.

"What's your name?" The man was looking at the box when he asked.

"Kitoku Thamis."

"We'll try to tell you if anything changes." He was still not meeting her eye.

"I understand, thank you."

Kitoku found her way to her grandparents car and climbed in.

"How was your friend?" Grandpere asked her.

"She is alright, her family is very nice."

"I could drive you back tomorrow if you wish."

"No, I will take a bus or walk when I go see her next."

"Alright me dear."

"Grandpere? Have you heard from Donovan?"

"No, not since the fall. He has failed to write many times."

"I miss him Grandpere."

"I know my sweet. We all miss him, he will write to us soon you will see."

"Yes, I hope you are right."

Kitoku visited Kara again the next day and her family was not around. Kitoku sat next to the bed and held her hand and sang to her softly. Kara never woke, but she did tilt her head slightly into Kitoku's voice. Kitoku left silently and went to meet Severus. She hated to cut her visit short but she had already made the arrangement with him. She had dressed reasonably; she had only ever seen him in work clothes and finery and had no idea of his usual clothing. She herself wore a simple lavender sun dress, despite her wizarding family, she had taken care in Muggle Studies and knew that the best way to dress like a muggle was to read the magazines and then watch what muggles wore, and then lastly shop in muggle stores. Kitoku had pleated her long hair but little curls escaped from the long braid. But lastly she had sewn in a special pocket that had a spell around it's edges to shrink thing as they were going in and then resize them when coming back out. The only thing she didn't keep in that pocket was her wand that she had sewn into another pocket concealed by an illusion charm. Kitoku looked like a young woman on a stroll, just enjoying the warm sunny day in London. She was not conspicuous not that Muggles were observant anyhow, but she felt good about being able to hide herself in plain sight. Kitoku watched the crowds as she always did. What was she looking for? She wouldn't have been able to answer if someone had asked, but she was looking for her brother: for her parents and her sisters. Kitoku touched the small necklace with the amethyst setting. What did she have of her family except that small necklace and the memories she carried of each of them? While she sat she wished for her brother to write, to respond to any letter any one at all just to let her know he was alive even if he wasn't well. Her body soaked up the sun and she turned her face skyward and took a deep breath. Somewhere, somewhere Donovan was alive and he would come back to her: someday and she would wait for him.

In a completely different park of the world a young man who was growing a pale brown beard and studying like he had never studied before received the latest letter from his younger sister. His hands bitter cold as the winter continued on. The ministry was taking in all his mail and sending it to him periodically: he could write to her, but it had to be sent through the ministry first so they could read it. They didn't open her letters, seven new ones. Seven more samplings of his old life, one where he wasn't sitting in a cold bunker below thirty feet of snow and where the heaters only brought the temperature up to bearable. He wrapped himself in is coat and blanket like the others, He was only one of two wizards here, and he was to go undetected. He didn't know who the other Wizard was but he kept looking for him, they were both new trainees. Thankfully the ministry sent his sisters letters like the muggles received packages. His objective was to discover who the other wizard was, Donovan was so very tired of the cold but he dared not use a heating charm for fear the other wizard would recognize it. His sister wrote of warm days on the streets of London while being careful not to be in any harm. She wrote of their grandparents and a few anecdotes about her cat Spook. Donovan could feel the warmth of the sun where she was and could feel the sleek fur of the black cat running under his fingers, and he could see his grandparents smiling as they danced in the living room where he had once done homework. He was comforted to read her letters, young love crept into the pages and then sadness where one of her friends was being taken by a disease Kitoku did not know. Donovan opened the last letter and read about the young man who was taking his sisters heart. Oh how Donovan wanted to write to her and tell her to be cautious! But he could not unless he wanted the ministry to read his letters, even in soft speak, the ministry would likely deliver the letter rewritten and typed on a piece of bland parchment. Donovan wanted this assignment to be over for so many reasons; the cold was the least of them. He re-read his sisters letters and hid them away.

Kitoku had been watching the crowd. She had intentionally been early to watch Severus approaching her. Severus delivered the sight she wished to see. He approached her directly after spotting her His eyes were for her only and she stayed where she sat watching him approach. His face had been streaked with worry and grief but locked onto her eyes his face softened and his lips slowly came to a great smile. He wore simple clothes. Black slacks and a green dress shirt. The thought passed through her briefly but it brought a smile to her face 'how very Slytherin he looks.' His hair that had been tied back each time she had seen him before, but now his hair was loose. All thoughts of her brother were gone now. She worried not about where he was or what he was doing, and why he didn't write. She was engrossed with what was going to be the beginnings of much better times for her. Foolishly perhaps she already pictured herself married to him, being his wife and never parting from him again, spending every day together and loving each other so much no one could tear them apart. Her smile could not contain all this imagery but neither could it hide all of it either.

"Good afternoon Kitoku." His rich deep voice greeted her as he sat next to her. Looking into her eyes he saw her searching him.

"Good afternoon Severus." Her voice pure and radiant pleasure to his ears. "I feel as if I've known you for such a very long time."

"I feel that way as well. Are you ready for lunch? I know a great place where we can eat." She nodded slowly. He rose and held out his hand to help her, she took his hand like she had when they had danced. She rose effortlessly and he circled a hand around her waist as they walked. He easily stood eight inches taller then she did, but they fit in a way both seemed to understand. Guiding her to a modest café they ate a light meal. They couldn't seem to wipe the silly grins from their faces and as the day wore to night, they had walked in a park, had ice-cream, browsed an old bookstore, and talked the whole day.

"Would you like to see where I live? It isn't much, but I could fix you dinner or we could just talk more, I don't really want to let you go for the night."

"That would be nice." Kitoku felt flawless when she was with him, protected, safe. They rode to his apartment in a cab and when they got to his apartment he had her sit on a couch while her brought her a glass of wine.

"Ohh! How lovely." She sipped the glass carefully. "Very nice."

"You like wine?"

"I wish to make wine. Nothing is so complicated and precise or as temperamental as wine. Yes, I love wine very much."

"I enjoy wine, but I would not have the first idea how to make it."

"Maybe I can teach you someday, after I learn more."

"You have already started learning?"

"Ohh yes, I study all I can on wine: how to grow the grapes, what makes wine good and bad, fermenting, and ageing. All of it is very interesting. Not a traditional wizarding job, but one I want to do very much."

"Well, I can toast to that." They clinked glasses and sipped again. "Kitoku, I do not want to be too forward, but might I kiss you?" Color rose to her cheeks, and she nodded. There lips met carefully and tenderly, a kiss so soft and sweet it was as if each feared breaking the other. They parted and looked again into eyes one set so deep one set black it was striking against his pale skin, and hers so bright violet it made him want to have that color around him always. They pulled together again the kiss not so sweet but more needy then before. Deeper, both seemed to ask 'can you save me' and then both answering yes.

Four days later on June 3rd Kitoku was in high spirits, but was trying to be somber when she entered the hospital. The dark haired man she had seen before, was seated next to his sister. He was bent over and his sobbing were evident through his body. A healer was in the room, Lily was talking to her nodding somberly as tears streaked down her face.

"If we have a girl, we should name her Kara. Please Lily, if we have a girl." Kitoku backed away from the room as husband and wife mourned the loss of their sister. Kitoku returned home where she wrote a letter to her brother and one to Leonora and then cried for a very long time.

Two days later Severus was in the hospital visiting his friend with much happier news. Narcissa Malfoy looked at her husband and the dark haired man. "It's a boy. He has blond hair and gray eyes." Her voice was soft with motherhood as she held the small bundle.

"Draco. His name will be Draco. Our little dragon!" Lucius was deliriously happy with the birth of his baby boy.

"A proud and proper name." Bellatrix agreed. "Do you agree sister?"

"He's my first baby boy. Lucius wants him to be Draco, then he will be." Narcissa held the small babe with much joy and a mother's never waning affection. As she fell asleep she looked at Severus for just a moment to acknowledge some secret between them. Severus nodded as Lucius picked up the babe and the new father glowed with pride. "He's going to make me proud this one is. Isn't that right Draco, you'll make your father proud no matter what you do."

Kitoku and Leonora attended the funeral together. Then they stayed together a week at the Thamis house and then a week at the Barker house. Kara's two closest friends tried to comfort each other by telling great stories of their friend and schoolmate. Kara Potter would not die in either of their minds as long as they lived.


	6. Chapter 6

Dead to the World

By Cedric Thanatos

Chapter 5

Early July 1980

Still neither Kitoku or her grandparents had received a letter from Donovan. Her grandparents did not worry, and they reassured Kitoku that he would write to her soon.

Kitoku and Severus wondered around Muggle and Wizard London when they could much like an afternoon not long after leaving Leonora at the Barker estate.

"I'll watch him occasionally, when Narcissa and Lucius need me to. It's different being a godparent to someone so small and helpless." Severus said talking about Draco.

"He sound's adorable." Kitoku answered him.

"He is rather cute." A weird smile came to Severus's face.

"Maybe when you are watching him sometime, I could come over and help."

"That would be nice, mostly he sleeps. He's very quiet."

"Where are you taking me?" Kitoku said distracted by the talk of Draco.

"You'll see." Severus smiled at her his eyes meeting hers. Kitoku walked next to him in silence leaning slightly on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her pulling her close. Severus pulled them into a small corner dimly lit. "Hold on to me." She clung closer and then felt the pull or slide along apparition. Kitoku could feel the sun much the same in the vineyard surrounding her. "Surprise." Severus kissed her quickly.

"Where are we?"

"It's a winery just outside of London by about twenty miles. I thought you might like it here. Maybe you could come here to study. It wouldn't be very far away, and you could learn what you wanted. Lucius knows the manager and is friends with the owner."

"Ohh Severus. This is so sweet of you. So…" But he cut her off by claiming her lips as his again.

"Let's go try some wine shall we?" His voice soft. The small store was up on a hill and provided some extra shade to a small patch of red grapes. The tasting room provided tables of a reasonable height for both patron and waiter. Small plates of breads and cheeses were centered on the tables.

"Friend of Lucius welcome back. Has his baby come yet?" A man with thick yellow hair and medium build greeted Severus.

"Yes, a strong baby boy he has named Draco."

"Oh I must send my congratulations to the parents with a bottle of my finest. A strong dry red I think."

"Mark, this is Kitoku, I believe I told you about her. She wishes to learn the secrets of Wine as fine as yours."

"Ohh sweet sweet girl, would you be interested in starting as a waitress. You learn much by serving that helps you make and grow better wine."

"Yes, I would be happy to start as a waitress."

"Good, you come by tomorrow and we talk. Tonight you are friend and guest. You enjoy the evening and Julia will take care of you." Mark left them at the table and disappeared. With each wine sampling, Kitoku cold feel the flavors on her tongue tingle with delight. When they were done she willingly followed Severus up the staircase to his apartment. How very perfect he was. She could be contented now, content with what she had. Severus unlocked his door quietly with his wand and held the door open for her. Once inside she found his face in the dark. The kiss was urgent and needy. He wrapped his arms around her slim figure pulling their bodies close he pulled her breast against his chest and matched her need with needs of his own. He carried her through the small apartment and lay her down on his bed, the small bed he once had was big enough for the two of them now. He hesitated, pulling away from her. She moved her arms to his shoulders.

"Severus, what's wrong?" But he could only look at her. He pulled off of her to light a candle.

"I need just a minute." He pulled off of her and walked sullenly to his small bathroom. He pulled out a small bandage wrap and undid his shirt. Taking it off to wrap his left arm just below his elbow. He knew he needed to tell her. Had to tell her somehow, but not tonight. Tonight would have to be perfect. He put his shirt back on and buttoned it back. Back in his bedroom, Kitoku had sat up on the edge of the bed, her bare toes touching the wooden floor, her dark curls surrounding her head Her eyes bashful as she watched him enter and edge near her. He sat next to her and took her hands he placed one on his cheek where her warmth felt so natural, so good. He held the other fingers entwined resting on her knee.

"Have I done something wrong?" She asked in a small voice.

"No, you have done nothing wrong, nothing at all. You're so good, so perfect how did you fall for someone like me?"

"Because you are good and perfect too." His gaze fell from her face.

"I love you Kitoku." The words caught him, it was the first time he said it. She kissed him then. Small tears fell from her eyes.

"I love you too." They kissed again, Kitoku fumbled for the buttons on his shirt as they sat so close, he kept her balanced tenderly as she tended to his clothing, she pulled off his shirt and he worked the zipper down the back of her dress as she leaned on him. The flicker if the candle flame sent strange shadows across their bodies as they undressed.

"Every inch of you is perfect." Severus whispered to her before taking her with his hand. She cried out with the unexpected combination of pain and pleasure. Then he took her with himself and together they rocked and became one. The night that brought them so close was perfect. She slept on his chest that night with his arms wrapped around her naked body. To Severus morning came much to quickly as the sun and light penetrated his east window he cursed the morning wishing only to spend more time with his beloved. He woke her gently kissing her face tenderly her hair tickled his arm as she moved her head her violet eyes woke and she smiled as the radiance of a woman in love and having been loved. The morning was sweet and tender as they had to part for the day.

"Come again tonight and I will have dinner made for you." Severus hugged her close.

"I will." Though she needn't have responded both knew she would be back.

Kitoku managed to find the winery again without any problem. She stood back as Mark helped a customer and when he was done she came up to him.

"Ahh! Madam you did come, I was afraid you might not. But it is my fortune that you would. Good now, would you like a tour, we will fit you for a uniform and until then you will wear Amanda's. You can start when?"

"Anytime, I am eager to work."

"Good, good. Today you get tour, and measured. Tomorrow you start working with Amanda she will show you what to do." Mark ushered her through the small building and then through the vineyards. She was glad; her life seemed to be coming together, forming in a good shape, and pleasantly. Tonight she would see him again, and tomorrow was a brand new day, one that would continue from today, and today was so far great.

Kitoku's grandparents did not say anything, they didn't look at her differently, but they smiled for her. She had found happiness and she would share with them when she was ready. They spoke of her new job at the winery, and they smiled for her still. Kitoku was becoming more then content, she was becoming happy, slowly she had more smiles, and even began humming to herself.

Donovan had escaped the Antarctic test. He had correctly identified the other wizard after having written a long report detailing the differences between Claude's behaviors and the muggles. That's when Donovan and Claude had been pulled out. Claude had succumb to the cold much the same as Donovan had, but had indeed used a warming charm. He had tried to use it discreetly but having another wizard in the compound, Claude had been compromised. They had returned to the Ministry and the dorms of first year recruits. Claude and Donovan had become friends very quickly. Donovan penned a long long letter explaining his lack of writing. He told Kitoku of Antarctica but not the projects he had been working on as a muggle. He wrote of Claude, and how happy he was to be in the company of the warm French sun again, and how her letters had kept him warm. Then Donovan joined the fun.

Claude and Donovan dressed up in fine muggle attire and hit the clubs. Paris was as good a town as any to have fun. Claude's thin firm face, slim body and radiant smile made him quick and easy with the ladies. Claude was one who had a new girlfriend every week and if it wasn't every week, it was sooner then that. They fell for him quickly and let themselves be seduced, then when Claude was done with them, he gave them a good time and disappeared again; until the next girl. Thus this was how Donovan learned to pick up ladies. He tended to keep them longer then Claude, but then again everyone kept a girl longer then Claude would consider. Two week, two weeks and he could be free of the ministry. Donovan told his new friend goodbye and packed his bags. There was one place he wanted to go, and only one.

"So you are having a goodtime, with this boy you have found?" Grandmere asked Kitoku as they ate their dinner. Kitoku blushed visibly and kept her composer as she took a spoonful of soup.

"Yes, we are having fun. We walk around and he shows me things I have not seen in London before." Her gentle and planned response sounded slightly stiff from over practice.

"This boy he seems good for you. You should invite him to dinner some night. Your Grandpere and I want to meet him."

"I will Grandmere, I promise." Kitoku ate another spoonful of soup. An owl came down and flew in the window a think envelope addressed to Kitoku was delivered. She carefully retrieved the letter and gave the owl water and food before he flew off again.

"Sit back down and eat your dinner. Your letter can wait." Kitoku looked at the letter more carefully.

"Donovan! It's his handwriting!" Ignoring her grandmere, Kitoku tore at the seal and read the long letter. "He's coming home… he's coming home!"

"When?" Dinner was all but forgotten as her grandparents waited for her to continue reading.

"Tonight! He said it would be late. After Dinner. Late. Ohh Grandmere, Grandpere! I have missed him so and now he is coming home!" Kitoku ran to her room leaving the envelope behind but taking the letter, she read the letter again and again to make sure she got the details right. She wrote a quick note to Severus and sent if off with her grandpere's owl before reading her brother's letter again.

Severus was just getting prepared for his date had set out a bottle of wine to breath and a small plate of cut fruits. He had waited too long to tell her, too long he had avoided the subject of the bandage on his arm. He was going to tell her tonight, she had said she would come. Severus looked at himself in the mirror, if she hated him, he could tell himself it was because he behaved badly, because he wasn't good and perfect, not like she wanted. A small tapping came to his window, Kitoku's owl. Severus's face fell. She hadn't sent him a letter since they had been on their first date, why would she send one now. He opened the window and removed the letter. Her note was short: 'Severus, I am sorry but I must tell you my brother is returning tonight, I must stay to greet him. I will see you still tomorrow? Love Kitoku.' That was all she wrote. He was angered that her brother had chosen this very night to show up again. He tore the bandage off his arm and threw his shirt on the floor. He sat seething: how could he get the courage up to tell her and then not be able to. Severus began brewing a potion: one he hoped would work. He had already begun working on it, knew what he needed to do. Something he wasn't getting paid to do. He finished the potion and took a swallow, then he took a milky white substance from the counter and drank it too: not a lethal amount, just enough to see if the potion worked or not.

Kitoku waited in the living room waiting, she didn't finish eating dinner, nor could she read or do anything constructive, she felt so young and eager waiting on her brother to return, but she had waited so long: she just needed to see him. Kitoku was unaware that she had fallen asleep but it was dark and all was quiet when a stout and handsome figure entered the Thamis household. His pale lavender eyes shining as he spotted his sister on the couch. Donovan took his bag to his room and then came back. "Soeur, it's time to wake up." Donovan pushed her shoulder "Soeur." Kitoku's eyes fluttered open, a smile so large appeared on her face.

"Frere!" She flung her arms around him, he picked her up off the couch.

"Soeur, I have missed you so much. Tell me you have missed me too." He was so much taller, she could not reach the floor as he held her up.

"Put me down frere." She was giggling and shrieking. "Put me down." Her demands were so filled with joy, they could hardly be heard as commands.

"No, not until you tell me you have missed me like a a flower misses the sun. Tell me how much you've missed me" He twirled her around.

"I've missed you like a thousand flowers have missed a thousand suns, I've missed you like the river misses the rain, I've missed you so much, I may never let you again so I never have to miss you again!" He set her on her feet and pulled her into a hug.

"It may be me that never lets you go again." They separated only slightly. He held her waist and she his arms.

"You must promise you will always write to me, no matter what happens, you must always write to me."

"I promise Soeur, I promise the thousand flowers they will have their thousand suns."

"I know they will." Donovan and Kitoku sat on her bed long into the night talking about everything and nothing. They talked about their new friends, Kitoku told him of Kara and of Leonora. Donovan told her of Claude and some of the others in the program. They talked of childhood memories and Kitoku promised to make Donovan's favorite cherry cookies, naturally with sprinkles. They debated which color sprinkle looked better, and fell into a fit of giggles.

"So when will I meet this man of yours? Soon I hope." Donovan prodded.

"I will invite him to dinner tomorrow. He will come, he is a very good man."

"We will see, now you must forgive me, I must get some sleep tonight, I have had very little. Goodnight soeur."

"Goodnight frere." She hugged him again before he left her room.

Severus was feeling like his normal self while he was stocking the items the Hogwarts students would need when they came shopping in a few weeks. The soft bell alerted him to a customer while he was buried deep into the back of the store. He swore under his breath and made his way to the front. Kitoku was standing there apologizing to Vern who gave Severus a hard look before shuffling to the office and leaving the front to Severus.

"I know I am not to come while you are working, but I would like you to come to dinner with my family tonight. Everyone would like to meet you."

"I would be happy to come to dinner, what time?"

"Seven tonight. Thank you." She glided out the front door, and Severus was filled with trepidation: if only she already knew. A large hand came down on his shoulder.

"Parent's don't usually bite, you should be fine boy." Vern squeezed a little to reassure him.

"What about older brothers?" Severus tried to joke back.

"Ahh well those you gotta watch out for don't ya."

"Yeah." Severus went back to his work and put Kitoku out of his mind for the next couple of hours.

Kitoku was laughing as Donovan stole fingers of cookie dough from the bowl and she was placing the batter on the pans. "You shouldn't do that, you will spoil your dinner."

"Soeur if only you didn't make the best cherry cookies, I would be able to stop myself, but I can not keep myself from the best." Donovan enjoyed being home again, it almost was like having a real home again. He could imagine that his grandparents were his parents and that his younger sisters were off with a friend or in the back yard. How he missed them all. "When will he be here?"

"Soon, I told him to be here at seven." Kitoku had dinner heating in a second oven while she baked the cherry cookies Donovan had begged for.

"That is so close to now."

"He isn't late, he still has twenty minutes by then, we should have everything made and ready to eat." Kitoku pulled a sheet of cookies out of the oven and replaced it with a sheet of batter. "Now, these are too hot don't touch them."

"Whatever you say soeur." Donovan smiled, Kitoku turned her back to pay attention to something on the stove and he plucked up a hot cookie and began eating it. Kitoku turned to find her brother holding a half eaten cookie eyes closed and a deliriously happy grin on his face.

"Frere! I said you shouldn't!" Donovan's eyes snapped open.

"They aren't too hot, they are better this way."

"When you get a wife I will not teach her how to make these cookies, just because you will not listen to me when I tell you no." Donovan's eyes gave off a mischievous glint as he ate the rest of the warm cookie.

"Then I will never marry and you will have to make them for me always." He snatched another cookie and shoved it in his mouth.

Kitoku was smiling as she worked at the stove and then scooped up the cookies and put them on a cooing rack and then filled the warm empty sheet with more batter. Donovan had left the kitchen with three cookies in his hand. Kitoku was very pleased with the food, tonight was going to be a fine dinner. Kitoku was finishing when her grandmere came in to finish so Kitoku could get dressed.

Severus stood outside the front door of Kitoku's house holding two bouquets of flowers, he brushed his shirt free of lint before pushing the small lit button next to the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Dead to the World

Chapter 6: Late July 1980

Severus was rushed into the house by a tall and very masculine version of Kitoku. His hair was short and straight brown instead of deep mahogany, and the man had facial hair, a soul patch along with a jaw line beard and a thin moustache… patchy and this it didn't look bad on him, but Severus wasn't sure of the eye color, until he looked again. Pale as pale could be but this man's eyes were still lavender. It was almost as if Donovan was just three shades lighter then his sister, and of course a man rather then a woman. Despite the facial hair, Severus could tell very much that this man was his lover's brother. They had the same nose and mouth, and eye shape. If Severus didn't know better, he would have thought that they were twins, but then he knew that they weren't.

"Hello, I am Donovan Thamis brother and expert on men's' characters." His smile was wide and friendly, but there was a presence behind the soft lavender that made Severus look twice ignoring the smile. Yeah Severus had a lot to worry about with this one. Severus was introduced to Kitoku's grandparents and when he gave the grandmother a the bouquet she smiled graciously and found a vase for the flowers. Kitoku came into the living room, her long curls down about her shoulders, a warm glow to her face and her smile the most radiant he thought he had seen in a very long time.

Dinner was smooth and Kitoku's grandparents seemed perfectly pleased with him. It was Donovan who kept getting Severus's attention. The man smiled with his mouth, but only his mouth, it was as if Donovan knew that Severus wasn't perfect. Severus was relieved when Kitoku walked him to the front door and kissed him goodnight.

"We will see each other tomorrow right? It's your day off as well as mine."

"I would like that very much." Severus kissed her again before vanishing to his apartment.

"I don't like him overmuch." Were Donovan's first words when Kitoku came back inside.

"Well, I didn't ask your approval. You aren't the one dating him."

"What do you know about him?" Donovan snapped.

"Plenty!"

"What about his parents, his family? What are his hobbies?"

"He doesn't have a family." She replied stubbornly.

"So he's an orphan."

"No, but his parents were mean people, he left them."

"He left the family he had to be alone? How pathetic." Donovan sneered at the door.

"You don't understand. You don't know him like I do. You know nothing about him and you judge me." Kitoku's face had become sad again. Donovan was so surprised by her sadness. "You think I am young and careless, but we met at the apothecary where he works. Then we met again at a Christmas party when you didn't want to come home to see me. I'm not desperate Donovan, I know others have had crushes on me and Severus is whom I choose to be with. You could show a little respect to my choice." Her body was ridged and tight as she walked past him on the way to her room. He reached out to her but she pulled away from his grasp she entered her room and flung herself on the bed facing away from her door. It was only a few minutes before the door was opened softly and Donovan came in and sat next to her on the bed.

"I'm sorry Soeur, you know I love you."

"You have no right to just come back and start telling me what to do."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't even come back for Christmas, not any of them. You came back after writing me one letter, and you want me to listen to you about something you know nothing about. Why didn't you come back for Christmas? I missed you most then. Grandpere and Grandmere did their best, but all I wanted was you."

"It was too painful soeur."

"I was hurt too. You knew I was hurt too."

"I'm sorry. I'll be back for Christmas this year."

"A thousand flowers?"

"A thousand suns." Kitoku finally rolled over to face him.

"You need to give him more time. He's not like us, he doesn't know what a real brother is like or a sister. He just had his parents, and they were not good to him."

"What do you mean?"

"His father was very mean. Nothing at all like our Pere. Pere would never hit us or beat us or even lift a finger to hurt us. Pere was always so nice and kind. Severus's father hit him, and was very mean."

"You don't have to tell me."

"I'm done now. You might want to know some of those things before you start telling me about how much you don't like him, he's had a hard time. We help each other. He helps me heal when you're not around because you're never around." Donovan was quiet for a few minutes.

"I will try to come back more often. I really will." Kitoku only looked into his eyes before shaking her head.

"No you won't. You have a life in Paris, with your training. I bet Claude will be happy when you return, but while you're here, you could at least try."

"I will."

"Good." She turned back over and closed her eyes for the night. Her brother was tempted to wake her and apologize again, but instead he left his sister to her sleep and went to his room. Marius opened his grandson's door and found him weeping.

"Grandpere, have I been a bad brother to her?" The elderly man came to his grandchild's side.

"I remember when your father was very young. He cried when his sister hit him with a large rock. She felt very bad for what she had done, but your father was still hurt. There was nothing she could do to stop the pain from hurting him, but she learned to clean the bandage from your grandmere. Your father was not hurt very badly, but your aunt, she was hurt much more she felt bad a long time for hitting your father. The guilt of hurting him stayed with her until she died, knowing she had hurt him. Your aunt would have been better to forgive herself like your father forgave her, but she did not, and now she never will. I guess what I am trying to say is… a few more letters wouldn't hurt anything, and long as your don't feel guilty about your little sister. She will heal, and so will you. In time, all wounds heal, even the ones that feel like they won't. You have to start by forgiving yourself and not being so guilty." Marius patted his grandson's shoulder before leaving him to bed.

Severus waited the next morning in a small park where Kitoku and Donovan were meeting him. The duo came up to him from behind. They spent the afternoon in the park Donovan brought a Frisbee muggle variety. Severus packed sandwiches and Kitoku had made dessert. They lay out a blanket and Kitoku sat in Severus's lap occasionally sending an odd glare in Donovan's direction. Severus did his best to do what Kitoku wanted him to do while still being weary of Donovan. Severus was more relaxed this afternoon, but there was just an off feeling around the brother and sister. It was after they had played Frisbee and had lunch and then settled for a while when Kitoku stood up dusting herself off.

"I am going for ice-cream, do you want anything?" She looked at both of them in turn, both shaking their head no. "Alright, be back in a minute or two." She walked off in the grass without her shoes.

"Severus, I don't have a lot of time to get to know you, but there are some things you should know." Donovan started. Severus shook his head. "First off I assume she told you the story of how we lost our family."

"Yes."

"Well, she doesn't know everything. She wouldn't have been able to understand. But know this never ever buy a duck of any sort. Not a real one a stuffed one or draw a picture or even have a picture."

"Why?"

"Our sister Misha was killed, and it was very bad. She was oozing blood as her body got rid of it. She was holding onto a toy Mere had bought for Kitoku, it was a stupid stuffed duck. The duck got soaked through." Donovan looked away from Severus. "There was so much screaming, so much death. Ours was not the only family to lose a great deal that day. I was shocked, I grabbed our Mere, but she was dead, then I heard my sister. Carolina was alive, she gasped for air, but she could not breath. She died in my arms as I held her she was so young. Misha had fallen on top of Carolina. I held them both until someone took me away from them, and somehow I managed to grab the duck, I hadn't thought about the blood. When Pere came with Kitoku to come get me I still had the duck. Kitoku knew then that there had been pain. She beat at me as I held the duck, Pere pulled her away but no one understood. She and I were in the hospital together, I was treated for shock, and she couldn't remember what had happened. She kept asking what happened. Healers kept telling her and then she would mumble about the duck. She would cry hysterically, and she would try to hurt anyone around her. Pere and I had to remove all the ducks from her room. I used to draw ducks for her, and I got rid of all the drawings, I didn't want her to find them. She's gotten better as she's gotten older, but ducks still remind her of that day. She remembers being in the hospital, but it's best not to remind her." Donovan turned back to Severus. "And also, if you hurt her ever I will kill you." Donovan's eyes were flat his mouth turned into a frown.

"I understand." Severus stood up. "You know she misses you when you're not here. She was all but delirious you came back. I hate to see her hurt again by your thoughtlessness. I wouldn't kill you, but I think you should just remember her a little more often then you do." Severus walked away from Donovan trying to keep the conversation on his terms. It was a tricky thing to do keeping the loved brother appeased his girlfriend happy, and himself whole, and in control of something.

"What did you talk about?" Kitoku asked as Severus approached her.

"Just a couple of guys talking."

"I hope you're getting along."

"We are, we've got some things out in the open." Kitoku didn't say anything but gave both men a hard look over her ice-cream cone.

The next eleven days brother and sister spent much time together. When she could, Kitoku brought the two men together just to try and get to know each other better. All too soon, it was time for Donovan to leave. Severus sent off the man with a handshake.

"A thousand flowers." Kitoku spoke quietly face downcast.

"A thousand suns. Forever and always." Donovan lifted his petite sister and spun her around before leaving the family home.

Reader, at this point in the story I fear I must interrupt the flow and ebb of this narration to inform you of several things that have occurred, and are occurring. Firstly Severus Snape has heard a prophesy and reported it to the Dark Lord, if you do not know on which prophesy I speak, then you are not familiar with the telling of these stories. Donovan Thamis has not properly grieved for his family, while Kitoku has not properly grieved for her friend Kara. James and Lily Potter have very recently given birth to a son named Harry whom you should be very familiar. Likewise, Frank and Alice Longbottom have had a son as well; neither young man has any siblings or will have any sibling because as you know in a mere year their parents will be rendered unable to have more children. While people in the wizarding world will know this, these events do and don't apply directly to the two young lovers in this story. With the dark lord rising, his Deatheaters were rising in confidence and in power; more Deatheaters began associating with each other and knowing. Severus was among these Death Eaters. They grew restless needing more and more skilled people to covert to the new order, while the Thamis household lived a quiet and humble life, they were very skilled and wealthy wizards, they were also considered pureblood by those who cared. Within the ranks of the Deatheaters, it was known that the youngest child in the family had a relationship with a young Deatheater. Thus, were Marius and Corrina Thamis prime targets for recruitment.

Marius and Corrina Thamis received a visit from a young man they had never met before. They were disinclined to join the ranks and tried to turn the young man out of their quiet and humble home, but they did not succeed.

Kitoku Thamis walked home from her day at the winery; she enjoyed the summer heat on her bare feet while she carried her shoes. Her eyes closed as she prepared to go home and relax for the evening her small feet knew the way home. She drank in the last of the sun and smelled the promise of rain in the air. An odd smile came to her face as she continued on. It was two streets from her home when she saw the green dark mark hovering in the sky the snake tongue winding around the skull. Her smile instantly gone as she sprinted to her home, it was her home that had been attacked. Her voice screamed for them. The wizard from next door was already rushing to her. A ministry official was on his way the wizard told her but she was a mess of tears and screams. She tugged herself away from the wizard and apperated to where she could find comfort. Landing roughly in front of an apartment door, she banged on the door with her closed fist.

"Go Away!" Yelled a hard voice from inside. But he didn't know, how could he.

"Please." Kitoku's voice was small she sank down and cried again. For how long she sat there she did not know it was only when Severus's neighbor came out on the landing that anyone noticed her presence. The old wizard hollered at her to quit weeping then yelled at Severus through the wooden door.

"You get this woman off the landing she's no use clogging up the traffic way!"

Severus came rushing out of his flat wearing nothing but a pair of pants and a bandage. His hair was tied back and his face streaked with some unknown potion ingredient. Kitoku couldn't talk to him could barely see past her own tears. He picked her up and slammed the door behind them as he yelled out an obscenity to the old wizard. Severus put Kitoku down on the couch, he brought her a small glass. "It's a calming potion. It might make you sleep for a little while." Kitoku sipped it but still her mind numb could not speak of what she had discovered. Severus patiently tended to her. "What is it Kitoku, you can tell me."

"My family. Darkmark. Gone, all gone." She wept into his chest her body shaking in grief.

"Kitoku, the ministry they need to be informed, they will want to talk to you." Kitoku pulled away and nodded. "Can you do it now?"

"Yes." Her voice broken was still clear on that one word. "Stay with me."

"Alright, I will. You need shoes. I need a shirt, hold on just a minute." Severus got them ready and then they traveled back to the depressing Thamis household. A ministry official was still clearing the home when he spotted Kitoku and Severus.

"What's your business here?" The Stark woman asked pointedly.

"This was my home." Kitoku managed.

"This was your family home?" Kitoku nodded. "And what's your business sir?"

"I am well acquainted with the family." The woman begrudgingly looked them over.

"I need you to stay here. I'll be just a couple more minutes."

Donovan was awakened by the head of dorms. "Thamis get dressed. You're needed in the main hall." Donovan quickly put on his clothes. What he found was not what he expected, his sister wearing an oversized travel robe, which presumably belong to Severus. Their eyes met and he knew, it was the same face he had seen twice before.

"Who?" He asked her with his hands on her face making her look at him.

"Grandpere, and Grandmere. It was Deatheaters. I was at work." His world darkened as the news came to him. He released her and fell to his knees tears plagued his face leaving wet streams of sorrow down his cheeks. The two surviving Thamis' wept with each other.


	8. Chapter 8

Dead to the World

Chapter 7: August 1980

Kitoku went through the motions for the next few days she had been taken off the schedule for bereavement leave. Kitoku was settling into life with Severus even surrounded by her grief. They made love slowly and carefully and she tried to pick up the pieces of her that were broken. She spent her days writing letters to Donovan and Leonora, then writing letters to Kara and her own long dead family. She cried when she was alone and tried her hardest to keep pleasant thoughts in her mind while she cleaned Severus's apartment. Then she sat for long hours doing nothing but thinking of her family sat with an odd expression on her face wishing she were anywhere but here and anyone except who she was. Then Severus would come home from his job and he would talk with her about mundane things and it would make her feel better. She fell asleep feeling fulfilled and happy in his arms forgetting about her family forgetting about her depression and forgetting most of all her fear that she too would die because of he who must not be named. She did not fear for Donovan's life and she had a safe and secure future waiting in those arms that held her so tightly.

They retired to bed one evening warm and naked Severus holding the woman in his arms once again. Kitoku woke to use the restroom. She pulled on a robe to wrap around her body and did her business. When she returned to the bedroom, she noticed that the bandage Severus wore on his left arm had come slightly loose. She retrieved a fresh bandage to replace it with. Kitoku carefully removed the old bandage to not wake him. Kitoku cried out in fear and retrieved her wand in one quick and easy motion. Tears leaked from her as she trembled. She found his wand and took it from him, as he lay there unaware that his best kept secret lay exposed to the woman he loved so much.

"You killed them!" Kitoku's voice screamed out at his sleeping body, he awoke startled.

"Kitoku what's wrong?" He started to rise but she pointed the wand on his face.

"No! You killed them! It's all your fault!" Her hand was shaking, but he dare not move.

"I didn't kill your grandparents."

"Who did?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I could even find out."

"It's your fault. It has to be we were never bothered by Deatheaters before you."

"Please Kitoku I would do anything for you anything at all I love you that much."

"Leave him, leave him and never return to him."

"He will find me and kill me if I do that."

"Then spy, go to the ministry or anyone and tell on him. Help the ministry catch him."

"What about Dumbeldore?" Severus's eyes met hers. "He has this organization that is trying to he bring him down, they are causing much more damage then the ministry."

"Yes, we will go now. Get dressed. I will keep your wand." It was then how late in the night an evening as August rolled into England settling nicely on the countryside and in London that two young lovers began a journey that would either or make or break them.

Hey found Albus Dumbeldore at home asleep. Albus rose to the urgent calling at the front door, surely it was for him because Gerald rarely received visitors and had never received one in the middle of the night. Gerald was awakened when his companion left the bed, his dulling brown eyes focused on the happenings quickly. The old men wore matching robes as Albus answered the doorbell. Albus and Gerald sat the young couple down in the living room where they listened to first the young woman and then the young man. Kitoku broke down into tears pushing Severus as he tried to comfort her. Gerald finally took the young woman and sat her down in the kitchen while the other two wizards discussed the terms of Severus's employment. The evening ended and Severus became a spy for the order of the phoenix and retrieved his ebony wand from Kitoku's trembling hands.

"You must promise that you will never cause me any harm." She said her eyes hard as she stared into his face.

"I promise."

"You must promise that he will never find me, that I will never have to go to him."

"Yes, I will promise you this."

"If I am found, I will leave you: I will not become his follower. So help me Severus, I will not suffer his madness upon me."

"We will never be harmed by Him. Kitoku I wanted to tell you so long ago please understand. I'm sorry I'm so so sorry."

"You'll have to make the unbreakable vow for me."

"Anything, just don't leave me. I am such a better person with you then I am without you."

While Severus was planning to betray the Dark Lord for the sake of love, there was another couple that was having problems because of the Dark Lord.

"Lucius, I just had this baby there is nothing wrong with keeping him exactly as he is."

"There is something different with Draco. Even my dad can see it."

"What is it then? He was born with my fathers' nose instead of yours or his hair isn't as light? What exactly is wrong with our son?"

"I don't know! But I will find out. The Dark Lord wants to see him."

"No." Narcissa's voice had grown tight with motherly fear. "He's a baby! Lucius. Lucius no."

"There's nothing I can do."

"Tell him no."

"I've tried. You don't understand Narcissa."

"Then I have to go."

"You can't. Not without the mark." Lucius stared at his wife blankly.

"How dare you!" She wailed slapping her hand to his jaw.

"Narcissa don't. He's got a hold of us. He wants you too."

"He can't have me. I don't care that Bella joined or that you joined, but I am not going to join and neither will Draco unless that is his express desire when he comes of age that is what I told you."

"I know but he has us. He'll kill us all if we –you don't join him –if we don't present Draco to him." Draco cooed as he woke his gray eyes bright with a baby's delight.

"You promised I wouldn't have to join him, you promised me when we married –when you joined you promised I was safe."

"I thought you were. But He wants you Narcissa and you have to join."

"We could run. Run far away just ignore what's going on save ourselves."

"He'll kill me if you run. You know too many secrets and he'll find you."

"Run with me Lucius."

"I can't. Don't you understand that I can't run? Not from him, not even for you."

"How much time do I have?"

"Why?"

"Because I can't join. You can't run and I can't join. Where does that leave us Lucius?" Narcissa was starting to cry never in all her life had she thought that the man she loved would betray her so harshly.

"You don't have time. Compose yourself we are already late."

"Lucius?"

"Please remember that I love you Sissy with all my heart."

Crying had never been her best emotion. "Lucius is it the only way?" She wept into his robes.

"It's the only way to save us."

"For love. For love alone will I do this for you."

"Bring Draco, hurry." Lucius voice had gone soft with regret. Narcissa picked up the young child and held him to her chest.

"I don't want to." Lucius wrapped a traveling cloak around his wife and child. Before holding them in his arms as he took them where the Dark Lord was waiting.

"Do you children need someone to oversee this vow?" Gerald offered. "I know Albus would be willing, but I am someone outside of your circumstances."

Voldemort "Welcome Mrs. Malfoy."

Kitoku "Yes we would like you to be our bonder."

Narcissa "Thank you My Lord." She bowed as Lucius was –clinging Draco to her.

Gerald "Very well, would you please take your hands together." Severus and Kitoku took each other's hands.

Voldemort "Let me see the child" Narcissa slowly moved to hand over Draco into the cool hands of the Dark Lord.

Gerald "Now we begin." His wand was placed upon their clasp hands.

Voldemort "He's adequate. His magic will grow as he ages. Now Mrs. Malfoy I am so glad you have decided to join me in my mission." Voldemort handed the baby back as gently as he could manage.

Kitoku "Do you vow to keep me safe?"

Voldemort "Please take off your outer robe madam." Lucius took Draco from her. Narcissa stripped down to expose her arms and the top of her chest that protruded from her corset.

Severus "I do." Gerald's wand let out a thin flame that wrapped around their hands.

Voldemort "Do you join me of your own fee will?"

Kitoku "Do you vow that Voldemort shall not find out about me?"

Narcissa "I do."

Severus "I do."

Voldemort "Very good my child. Come stand before me." Narcissa rose and held her head down daring not to look upon his face. He gripped her left arm and then with his wand he did mark her as his own. She screamed –if hurt so much she couldn't help but scream her knees buckled and Lucius rushed to her. Draco began crying too.

Kitoku "Do you swear to protect our child?"

Lucius "It's alright Narcissa."

Severus "Our child?" His face was surprised and fearful.

Voldemort "Leave now Lucius. I can't stand crying brats."

Kitoku "Yes Our child." She was weeping again.

Lucius "Thank You My Lord"

Severus "Always." The rope burned into them as the vow was completed.

Lucius and Severus both rushed their loved one home at the end of the ceremony and tended to them as carefully and gently as they could.


	9. Chapter 9

Dead To The World

By Cedric Thanatos

Chapter 8

In silence the two young lovers studied each other. Kitoku had been so shaken she was stunned into silent contemplation of the next few days. Surely something would have to change. She could not continue to stay with Severus while the war waged on. She stared at Severus for a long moment before rushing to him. He opened his arms to her but she wasn't hugging him she tore at the buttons on his shirt ripping half of them away. She was violently grunting as the fabric ripped under her violent hands. She shoved the shirt from his shoulders and when the shirt caught at his elbows her voice let out and angry desperate cry ripping the shirt from his arms with two great jerks. His torso and arms were familure in there pale contours. He made no move to stop her as hot tears flowed from her eyes and onto her angered cheeks her teeth clenched as she weekly beat her fist on him. The shirt lay forgotten beside them is a rumpled damaged mess.

Finally She let herself he drawn into his embrace. They stood for a long while finding what little comfort they could in each other. "We'll have to break up publicly, you'll have to make people notice when you leave."

"They won't notice when I leave some of them don't even know I'm here."

"They'll notice you're gone when you leave if you do it right."

They spent the rest of their night talking, planning and then just before dawn Severus put a gentle hand on Kitoku's flat stomach. Carefully they made love before they had to rise again to face the day.

The day was unusually quiet around the winery and Kitoku found Gregory and apologized profusely but told him that this was her last day, she offered to stay later but he didn't let her. He asked if everything was alright and when she turned in her uniform she said goodbye to Alice who she hadn't become friends with but had still enjoyed her company. Kitoku decided to take a long ride back to the apartment. She apperated from the winery to diagon alley. She searched for a few pieces she would need when she moved back to France. She found herself walking back to the small apartment where she could do nothing but wait while Severus finished his shift at the apothecary. She packed her things quickly and then sat on the couch with a book she had not read before. She opened the cover and was asleep before she had begun the second paragraph.

Kitoku's dream was as sweet as any dream she had ever had. She could see the shore of French waters lapping at her old home She stood with Severus and they were smiling he look healthy and well fed and she saw herself through his eyes just as beautiful as he said she was. A gentle smile crept over Severus's lips as she turned to a child calling out to her. "Mère!!" suddenly something bright blue sailed in front of her. It was a Kite! Her little child was flying a kite and the family was together and happy, Kitoku watched the Kite feeling the warmth of Severus on her arm when suddenly she stumbled on the shore and woke from her dream.

Severus looked at the sleeping woman whom he loved and whom carried his child. He hated to wake her, they were both exhausted from there sleep deprived night, but he knew the quicker she got out of the apartment the faster she would be safe in the arms of France where the Dark Lord had not yet reached. The small black cat lay on curled on her side in the nook of her elbow he didn't stir when Severus had come home, but an ear had twitched in Severus's direction. He was drawn to her placing a hand on her soft shoulder. She woke with a start. Her violet eyes met his with a moment of confusion before settling to sad understanding. "It's time." His voice cracked a little. Why did they both act as is if this were the end of everything. They just had to move their lives in a safer direction, one safer for themselves and the child. She muttered something to him in French before touching his cheek. He didn't know what it meant, but he didn't have to, he understood her. She coaxed the cat into a cage and he meowed gently as she shut the door.

"You'll meet me in Paris as soon as you can right?" Kitoku asked softly.  
"Yes, as quickly as I can."  
"I'll wait for you every night in the gardens of _Parc de Monceau_ waiting for you to come. I will not be happy again until you have joined me in our new home." They kissed goodbye and that's when Kitoku had to start screaming.

The annoyed neighbor who had yelled at Severus when the sobbing girl had shown up at his door was the one to hear the girl raise her voice in hysterical anger. The Neighbor turned down his radio and listened. She was yelling about leaving and never wanting to see the young man again. The neighbor didn't really care what was going on, he just enjoyed the sound of a good fight. The boy was pleading with her to stay but the girls voice was angry and sobbing she switched from English to French so the neighbor was unable to understand what she was saying. Then he heard the distinct POP of her apperating away as her voice went away. Then he heard the neighbor boy's door slam and he turned up his radio to enjoy the program.

Severus to make it all seem real scattered a few things about before apperating to Malfoy Manor. Severus banged on the door and stood on the back stoop while a house elf opened the door for him. He was let in and wondered into the main hall where a second house elf led him to Lucius's greeting den. Severus was on autopilot walking to the den that he hadn't noticed that Narcissa watching him. Severus entered the den and he waved the house elf away before he could shut the door. Walking over to the ornately displayed crystal and brandy snifters, he picked one up and filled it with a brown liquid drowning half the glass in one gulp. Narcissa came in her sleeveless arms holding the blond baby.  
"How much have you had?"  
"This was my first one." She held out Draco to him, Severus took him with all the gentleness of a father. His eye caught the new blemish on her pale arm. "You'll have to start wearing sleeves."  
"I suppose I will."  
"What happened?" Draco moved into Severus's chest as he sat down on one of the chairs in the room.  
"The Dark Lord ordered it."  
"Of course... welcome to the fold Narcissa."  
"Thank you Severus."  
"He's such a beautiful child." Draco continued to lay asleep in Severus's arms when Lucius swept into the room.  
"Give him to me I will let you two alone." Narcissa went to reach for the baby.  
"It's alright. I came here to be calmed. Kitoku walked out she didn't give me a reason."  
"I'm sorry Severus you seemed to really like her. You'd been dating for how long?"  
"Too long apparently, I don't really want to talk about it. How have you been Lucius?"  
"Excuse me but I really should put him to bed." Narcissa interrupted taking Draco away from Severus.

Lucius watched as his wife exited the room. "She's mad at me you know. She's been wearing sleeveless gowns since she got marked to remind me of what she had to do. Maybe it's good you broke up now... for Kitoku's sake. The Dark Lord would probably have liked the wealth of the Thamis family. If not he would have killed her." He paused for a moment. "Care for a drink."  
"I've had one."  
"Then have another." Lucius pored them both a good portion. "To women."  
"To women." They drank.  
"What now?"  
"I've had an interesting offer from Albus Dumbeldore I think the Dark Lord will enjoy."  
"Really?"  
"He wants me to teach at Hogwarts. Our old professor is retiring at the end of this school year he needs someone to replace him."  
"The Dark Lord could find that very useful indeed."

Kitoku arrived in Paris tired and hungry. Breathing in the air made her feel better, here she was home. She stopped into the first cafe she found and ate a quick sandwich before heading to the hidden magical section of the city. Kitoku found the inn she was looking for this hidden place was so different then London where she had spent her time, and at the end of the street she would find the fairgrounds where her sisters had been killed. She touched her necklace before entering the inn. A friendly large woman was there to greet her.  
"Hello mame, I would like a room for the night please."  
"No problem deary, are you wanting a room just for the night or might you need one for longer?"  
"I might need it for longer, tomorrow I will need to find a place to stay. Do you know of a winery that needs a hired girl? I am looking to continue my apprenticeship here."  
"Add but you should go to the country away from this city. Maybe the people at _Charly sur Marne_ would take you in. I forget the name of the place, but they are good people."  
"Thank You mame."  
"Your room will be at the end of the hall up the stairs. Ask for Florine if there is anything you need."  
"I will thank you." Kitoku left the woman and dragged her belongings with her to a small clean room. Kitoku unloaded her pockets resizing the things she had shrunk and collapsed on the bed.


End file.
